Going for gold.

Opening ceremony.

You can’t have helped notice the Olympics, from the spectacular opening ceremony to the dubious 16 year old girl who swims faster than the men. It’s everywhere, sponsored by everything and if you don’t like it, then you’re dead inside…apparently…

This week at Freak Music we have been wearing our favourite Speedos, jogging to work in our new trainers, wiping our brows with our terry towelling sweatbands and creating an Olympic inspired playlist to get in the Olympic spirit….. you can read it below.

  1. Going for Gold – Shed Seven
  2. The Winner Takes it All – ABBA
  3. Every Loser Wins –  Nick Berry
  4. Born to Run – Bruce Springsteen
  5. Even the Losers – Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  6. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger – Daft Punk
  7. She’s Got Medals – David Bowie
  8. You Got The Silver – The Rolling Stones
  9. We are the Champions – Queen
  10. The Finish Line – Snow Patrol

 

Playlist link – Olympics

£27 million, that’s how much the opening ceremony cost, was it worth it? £27 million to cram as many iconic symbols of ‘Britishness’ into a schizophrenic 3 hour stadium based mind wrong. Kenneth Branagh, Mr Bean, John Cleese, the NHS, Bond, the Queen and Dizzee Rascal…. You don’t get more British than that. And what was the message…there must have been a message…. 4 years ago Beijing terrified the world into stunned silence with their thinly veiled synchro-drum bullying and robotic child miming. A clear message to the world, ‘we are prepared to do anything to mess you up….’ So how did London compare? The Queen pretended to jump out a helicopter and Mr Bean went through a repertoire of facial expressions – the message –‘ its ok to laugh at us, if we don’t do it ourselves, we cry…’

To top it all goon face McCartney threw peace signs, pulled his trade mark ‘mildly surprised face’ and tried to make everyone forget the traffic jams, the economy and security blunders by forcing out an expected tune into everyone’s faces like a difficult bowel movement.

Of course there is some sport happening too, who could forget about that?

The greatest sporting event in the world has already seen Mark Cavendish publically debagged and crucified by not taking the gold in going fast on a bike. How dare he. However the press seemed too conveniently forget that it was Team GB that failed to win on their behalf and instead decided to lambast the other teams for ‘not helping us out’. No seriously, the Germans for example were given a roasting for not following the breaking pack, but instead sticking with the British (the favourites) assuming that if anyone was in the best position to win it would be them. As a result when nobody caught the breaking pack, it was nobody’s fault but everyone else’s for playing such a devious tactical game. They conveniently overlooked the fact Team GB just didn’t go as fast as the others who ended up winning.

Beth Tweddle

In the pool a teenage Chinese girl outswims even the men prompting immediate suspicion and questions from the BBC’s own sports bulldog Claire Balding. Elsewhere a dwarf lifts 3 times his own bodyweight, a man from Niger rowed a boat to the chagrin of sports best known diabetic Sir Steve Redgrave and Beth Tweddle continues to give children nightmares.

To date team GB have only claimed a silver and a bronze so let’s all get behind Team GB – oh and Tom Daly … if you don’t win gold we are going to feed you to Rebecca Adlington.

Written by our own gold medallist in ranting, Jamie Sands.

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